How to Survive Moving In With Your In-Laws
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How to Survive Moving In With Your In-Laws

This article will explain how to successfully live with your in-laws. It can be very difficult to move in with your spouseÂ’s parents and in order to make it as easy as possible, it is important to be prepared. By settling boundaries, making your spouse a priority, and taking time apart for your family, you will be able to survive moving in with your in-laws.

Many people are forced to move in with their in-laws for a myriad of reasons.  Some people find themselves living with their spouse’s parents because of a job loss or a long distance move while others end up there for help with the kids.  Whatever your reason may be, it is difficult to move in with your in-laws if you aren’t properly prepared.  Thankfully, there are a few steps that you can take to help survive moving in with your in-laws.

1.  Set boundaries.  In order to successfully live with your in-laws, you need to set some boundaries.  If you have kids it is especially important to set boundaries about parenting and your in-laws role in your children's lives.  Your in-laws are being very generous to allow you to move in, but they also need to know that you and your spouse are still a family unit and it is your marriage, not their marriage.  Sit down and discuss boundaries together before you move in to ensure that you all understand what is expected of everyone. If these boundaries are crossed, have a family meeting and explain which boundaries have been crossed and how everyone can make a better effort of adhering to the boundaries.

2.  Make your spouse a priority.  If a disagreement occurs in the house, make sure that you and your spouse make each other a priority.  A marriage can really be tested when living with others (especially your in-laws) so it’s important to keep open and constant communication with your spouse and to make their feelings a priority.  

3.  Take some time apart to just be with your family.  It may be hard to find alone time when you’re living with your in-laws, but it’s important to still connect with your spouse and kids (if you have children).  Try to take at least an hour a week where you don’t have your in-laws around and can just spend time with your immediate family.  This can be anything from taking a walk to going out to an inexpensive meal together.

4.  Be grateful.  Your in-laws don’t have to allow you to move into their home and if they allow you to, you should make sure to show your gratitude.  Be grateful that you have the option of moving in with them and pull your share around the house.  Clean up after yourself and be sure to thank them for allowing you to move in.

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Comments (2)

Those are some great suggestions. I would like to fill in a couple points that I think would be helpful. Offer to cook dinner once or twice a week and possibly do the grocery shopping. Talk to your children about how they should treat gramma and grampa. Realize that your parents have a need for alone time too and try to manage your family to provide that privacy for your parents. If you know for example that your parents like to read the morning paper quietly with a cup of coffee, try to give them that hour of peace in the morning.

great feedback! thanks for putting the additional tips!

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